Gratitude
Giving thanks for the life and witness of Thelma Carroll.
On Thanksgiving Day, I was in England. Of course, the Brits don’t do Thanksgiving here, but it was an appropriate day for celebrating my wife Joy Carroll’s mother’s passing – peacefully and painlessly at 91 years old. The gorgeous old St. Alban’s Church in Hindhead was packed with people to give great thanks and deep gratitude for the life of Thelma Joy Carroll, and what she has left in all of us.
My son Jack and I had the great blessing of spending a week with Thelma – and her husband John – just a few weeks ago. On the first day I was there, Thelma said to me, “Jim, would you speak at my funeral service … but only if it is convenient.”
That was so Thelma: mum, nan, grandma, auntie, sister, wife – and my other mother. Someone who was always thinking of you first, thinking about the others in her life first and always. I said, “Thelma, whatever you need from me will always be convenient.”
So there we all were – friends and family in that very English looking historic church, with more watching online. The service included tributes from people around the world whose lives were touched by Thelma and John, who is a retired priest in the Anglican Communion, including my wife Joy Carroll, one of the first women ordained in the Church of England.
The texts Thelma chose for this memorial celebration service are both about love. But for Thelma, love was not just syrupy or sentimental; it was always practical and willing to be sacrificial. And for she and John, their love always included justice for the poor and marginalized of this world.
Thelma and John were subscribers to our Sojourners, a magazine and a movement committed to faith and justice, long before I met their daughter Joy. They marched with me and others in London against the nuclear arms race. They knew my life and work before I met and learned theirs.
John and Thelma cared for the poor and the excluded in their urban parish neighborhoods. They preached for and acted for the ones Jesus said to prioritize in Matthew 25, “As you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.” They both got that.
They founded the relief agency, Emmanuel International UK, and traveled around the world to see and feel the suffering of those living in poverty. And when I came to visit they wanted to talk about the “social justice issues” about which they were well informed. And we discussed British politics!
It was Thelma who seemed to intuitively and instinctively understand the relationship between justice and love, and to see how justice was the living out of love. Justice is love lived out – both publicly and personally. That integral connection went very deep in her. Love wasn’t just for our personal lives but was also core to living the gospel of Jesus Christ in the world. She understood that.
So when I read the text she wanted us to read and remember from Romans 8:35-39, the reminder of the power of the love of Christ went even deeper for me. It concludes famously with:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
It’s been a tough time in the world and in the United States. And in my struggle to deal with all those complicated dangerous issues, I needed this text from Thelma. Neither the deep threats to American democracy, nor the deep suffering of war in the Middle East, nor the deepening deterioration of child poverty, can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.
Thelma wanted us to know that nothing can separate us from the love of God. I needed to hear that again and believe it again. Thelma Joy Carroll preached and most importantly lived that gospel and regularly showed it to us.
Thelma loved her husband John Carroll and all the people in the parishes they served together – and they all felt it. Thelma loved her children, Joy and Ray, with all her heart. She loved all their children who felt her love for them personally, and loved her continual smiles for them, as my boys both did.
Thelma had a rare gift of healing, of loving people unconditionally as Jesus did, and always bringing people together. I believe she was doing that again at her memorial and celebration service – watching down on us and praying for our healing with that smile we all loved so much.
My dear friend, song writer Ken Medema, sent me a song he had arranged called “Crossing Over,” which he thought might resonate in the celebration of Thelma. Our family decided to make the processional into the service, with Thelma’s grandchildren carrying her coffin, followed by her great grandchildren, which was very moving. The words at the end of the song say:
And as the tears freely fall
There is healing here
For one and all
Gathered here by the river of grace
And the river where we gather is a comfort place
I said I believed Thelma was actually praying for us with the Apostle Paul, who said in the second reading she chose from Ephesians 3:14-21:
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
At the end of my homily, I recalled a t-shirt and button that my son Jack likes which simply says “Love Wins.” I said that Thelma was the love wins button for all of us. And at the end of the sermon we all raised our voices to give Thelma Joy Carroll and her message of love a rousing AMEN!
Happy Thanksgiving. And welcome now to the season of Advent where we wait for Christ to appear.
Please considering pre-ordering a copy of my forthcoming book.
What a wonderful heritage. The waters of justice flowing down through the generations.